While
Phil Malamatenios ran off with the Balck's Pigskin Pickem Championship,
others sat back in the pitiful part of the pool. While Jason 'Thank
God Kathleen Said Yes' DeFrancesco, Jim 'I Miss My Mommy"
Young and Andy 'Always A Champion' Creager battled head to head
proudly, others picked ugly, picked badly and just plain stunk.
While Johnnie Dipstick sat proudly in the Top Ten, others looked
in the mirror in shame and disgrace. New lows have been hit in
this year's Balck's Pigskin Pick'em and these lows cannot be ignored.
As
Johnnie Dipstick charged, many didn't. As Johnnie Dipstick scored
big, many didn't. And as Johnnie Dipstick floundered down the
stretch, many didn't come close to catching him. One person caught
and tied Johnnie though, but is that a victory? Not for a true
picker. Maybe Coach Clint should have his girls soccer team pick
for him next year? Last year, Johnnie beat one person, Todd 'Bottom
of the Pack' Chronert, this year he beat fifteen pickers! Where
was Dan 'Gruden is my Boyfriend' Stebbins, in past years he has
challenged. Jamie 'Opposite Pick' Pardi was stomped by Johnnie.
The Balcktress, crushed by Johnnie. Eric 'Da Head' Wallace, never
competed. Johnnie has walked away from this years Pickem with
a great big smile across his face, partly because he beat fifteen
people but mainly because of the Bottom Dwellers, the Ugly Five.
When
most people talk about sports, fantasy games and losing, most
people think of Sigma Chi. Once again, Andy Pederson and Calvin
Gibbs have held true. They each tied for 25th place, only 33 points
behind the leader. I only have one question, do you guys have
any other Sigma Chi friends who like to make donations........I
mean, would like to play next year? Joining them in 25th place,
unfortunately is a Balck. After challenging in Pigskin Pick'em
II, Catherine Balck faded fast and hard in 1999. After this years
showing, The King Picker is not worried about any of his childhood
secrets getting out! Finally, a new record has been set in this
year's Balck's Pigskin Pickem. Never before has anyone lost to
the Pigskin Pickem Champion by 40 points! Mark Perry has set a
new low for Balck's Pigskin Pick'em. The Pathetic Picker lost
by 40 points, did not break 100, set a new all time low with only
94 correct and only scored above 7 in one week. Utterly ugly,
absolutely bad and truely worthy of the title, The Pathetic Picker.
Lastly,
to be fair, I am looking for a challenger to Mark in the 2000
season. I feel as though he is in a league of his own, so if any
pickers have a 6-9 year old sister who will make her picks every
week, please call me. I will let her play next year for free and
battle head to head with our Pathetic Picker.
Enjoy
the offseason Mark.
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